Archive | September 2012

Dredd 3D

View the details here.

So I love the Stallone version of Judge Dredd. It’s campy and fun and full of one line groaners. I watch it any time I flip past it on TV, just because it’s a good time.

That having been said…

This movie was tons better. It was dark and gritty and really conveyed the dangers of the world that Dredd lives in. Why there is a need for judges in the first place.

I loved the story and the character growth in Olivia Thirlby’s character.

A didn’t love the fact that I had to look up on IMDB who was playing Ma-Ma, because I swore up and down that it was Cersei Lannister, but he wasn’t so sure, but I so totally was. I was right btw. I shoved my phone in his face to show him. Yeah, he didn’t really appreciate that. It’s probably a good thing the theatre was not full at all. It’s one of the benefits of living in a very small town.

And then of course, there was Karl Urban. He’s been nothing but awesome in my book since he played Eomer, who was one of my favourite characters in the Lord of the Rings. But then he played Dr. McCoy. And that was even better, cause oh-em-gee he was fantastic.

He was a great Dredd too. Not that I know what Dredd was like in the comics, cause I never read them. I just know that I really liked his performance and felt like he just made the movie. Tough as nails, is the phrase that comes to mind. Seriously, Dredd was a badass. And Anderson wasn’t really shabby once she got her groove on, either.

I also really enjoyed the special effects. The water drops dancing and sparkling when she (Ma-Ma) was on the drug was just beautiful. Except for that whole being on drugs thing. That’s a big no-no. Don’t do it, kids. But the visual effect was just amazing.

It was totally worth the price of admission and had the added benefit of getting my theatre popcorn fix. My apologies to the poor counter lady who had to butterize my popcorn, btw. The old-fashioned pumpy thing must be a pain in the hinie, especially when someone like me comes along and wants every single kernel of corn as saturated with yummy artery clogging goodness as possible. Just know, you did it perfectly.

Btw, spellcheck thinks that I spell poorly. Which is funny, because the word that I was worried about, was right. Just not all the ones that I refuse to change, cause darn it, they’re right.

Also, wordpress is once again doing that thing where it doesn’t want to let me add links. Or pictures. Or tags. Fortunately, I’m smarter than it is and can do these things anyway. But still. I don’t really understand why wordpress hates the movies that I like. I think it’s a conspiracy.

Revolution

Read the details here.

I’ve watched two episodes of this show now, and I have to say, I’m a fan. *

For those of you unfamiliar with Revolution and who chose not to click my handy dandy link up above there that would have told you all about it, I’ll go ahead and nutshell for you.

The power went out. The end.

Okay, there’s really more to it than that. Somehow or other, all of the electricity in the world just poofed. Sort of like a paycheck the day after you get it.

People have to relearn to live without electricity. Which, of course, proves impossible for some and they become food for the others who lived, only they made them into a drink or something green and… wait. Wrong movie. Rewind.

It turns out, though, that not all the power every where is gone. Which is the first of many “Oh SNAP” moments that I’ve had in the two episodes that I’ve seen.

Billy Burke is in the show, you know, the dad from Twilight who learned all kinds of mad fighting skills dealing with horny werewolves and stalking vampires while trying to cope with his angst magnet teen daughter. (I can’t take credit for this thought. A started it. I just took it to the logical conclusion.)

He’s pretty much a badass, although A and I are still waiting for him to show up in a “Team Jacob” t-shirt, because we’ve determined that he was totally all about Jacob.

The writing is pretty good. There are twists and turns and some good humor thrown in so that you don’t get bogged down in the omgthistotallysuckshowthehellamisupposedtotweetwithnoelectricity?!?! of it all. I have to give it to the writers, if there were no power, I’d totally trade 80 million dollars for a roll or 50 of Charmin and have now begun to hoard it in a storage unit, should that day ever come.

Also, it was created by Eric Kripke, who is totally awesome all over the place in my book, because he is responsible for the yummy goodness that is Supernatural.

*Because I like this show, expect it to be canceled before it has run its full season and/or never see a second season. True story!

PS: Teenage girls. I know you’re angsty and have serious issues. If the power all goes out, you’ll have a lot more. I get it. Really. But just remember, if you’re ever in that situation and a woman that you resent for not being your mom offers to help you… Don’t be rude about it. Cause she’s going to turn out to be a serious badass and kill people with oxygen masks. Sort of like Kate Beckinsale, only not a vampire and blonde.

The Bloggess

I started reading The Bloggess last year.

Specifically a post about a giant metal chicken that she had gotten for her anniversary.

She’s pretty hysterical and I am currently working my way through all of the archives and cursing life because I didn’t start reading her blog when I still lived in Houston and could totally have stalked her tried to move in with her tried to strike up a friendship, because she just seems like the sort of person that I’d be friends with.

At any rate. I wanted to share just in case you hadn’t already discovered her.

Go forth and giggle!

Pet Peeve #462

As a rather snarky person (Btw, I love the word snarky. It’s just one of those words that sounds like what it means, you know?) I have a rather extensive list of pet peeves. Some of these things I can tolerate more than others and reactions range from incoherent rage rants, to some minor eye twitching and acerbic commentary to A.

Today’s peeve: Talking on the phone in the bathroom.

I shouldn’t even have to go into detail on why this is a no-no. I really shouldn’t. But obviously, since so many people do it, I need to. I can’t even begin to tell you how disturbing that little nugget of knowledge is.

1) I can hear everything going on in the background. Yes, that means that I can hear what you’re doing in the bathroom. I can hear the flush and everything leading up to it. And can I just say: Eww! No one wants to hear that. If you can’t wait to do your business, wait to call.

2) If you aren’t in your home bathroom, which no matter how clean you keep it is still none too clean, that means you’re in a public bathroom. I can guarantee that those suckers aren’t clean enough. Oh and I. CAN. HEAR. EVERYTHING.

3) People don’t wash their hands. You probably don’t wash your hands. But you do handle your phone with your hands. And it nestles lovingly against your face. Are you with me here? It’s called hepatitis and it doesn’t go away.

4) Hey guess what? If you’re in a public restroom and I can hear what’s going on over the phone… THE OTHER PEOPLE IN THE RESTROOM CAN HEAR YOU ON THE PHONE!! I have been one of the people in the public restroom hearing about your pap smear and I now know more than I ever wanted to about your womanly bits. Thanks ever so much for that mental scar.

Yes, I might be a tad on the germophobic side. I may even be overreacting just a tad. But I really don’t think so.

What prompted this you ask?

Well. Where I work, we get a lot of odd phone calls. People call up asking for services that we don’t provide. They want us to fix their cars, pay their rent, implant silicon in their chests and butts, thread their eyebrows, and other off the wall things.

A woman called yesterday afternoon to sign up for classes for a provisional license.

I do not work at the DMV.

So I politely explained that she’d need to call the DMV to arrange for a license.

Oh but she knew that. She just needed to sign up for classes and that’s why she called me.

No mention of what sort of classes she wanted, so naturally I’m totally lost, because we also don’t teach driver’s ed.

I finally got her to explain what sort of classes she wanted. Lo and behold, it really was something we do. So I transfered her.

Then I told A the story.

Me: Thank you for calling ___. How may I help you?

Her: Yeah, I need information on classes.

Me: Which classes did you need information on?

Her: I need to sign up for classes so I can get a provisional license.

Me: Oh, I’m sorry. You’ll need to call the DMV for that.

Her: I know, but first I have to sign up for classes.

*toilet flush* (I’m already confused about what she wanted, now I’m skeeved out and wanting a shower.)

Me: I’m sorry, what kind of classes are you looking for, then?

Her: You know, classes so I can get my license.

*toilet flush* (Oh for real? Not only are you in a bathroom, but a multi-user bathroom? *GAG*)

Me: Okay, but I don’t know what you need. What kind of classes?

Her: Well don’t you do ____ classes there?

*toilet flush* (!!!!!!!!!!)

Me: Yes, we sure do! Please hold for me while I transfer you.

Couldn’t transfer that call fast enough.

And now I need another shower.

For shame NFL. FOR SHAME!!

So. A weekend of craptastic calls by the replacement refs, culminated tonight in what can only be called an embarassing display of inexperience.

Tate never had that ball. Having a hand on it doesn’t count as possession. It just doesn’t.

I wish I could blame the replacement refs, but really, it isn’t their fault. They just don’t have what it takes to be at this level of sportsmanship. They are used to high school and junior college kids. While there may be some very talented kids in those venues, they aren’t NFL players. Period.

So these guys can’t possibly be expected to accurately call a game. Now, it’s all on them that they aren’t more careful about making these calls, but I can even excuse that, because of how fast paced it all is. They can’t really take five or ten minutes per call to make sure they aren’t screwing up. All the same… Tonight was fucking ridiculous.

Shame on the NFL for letting this go so far. All that hard work to build up the franchise and make it a shining beacon of American sports, and they’re throwing it away because they don’t want someone telling them how to run their business.

Well guess what guys. A few more weeks of this crap, and there won’t be a business anymore.

Fans are fickle and if you screw with something they love this much, you will lose this battle.

Having said that…

Tate. Dude. Wtf?? You know full well that you didn’t have that ball. How dare you sit there and say that you had it and you didn’t know the rules? I hope that God smites your genitals with something nasty and rotting and putrid for lying like that. You just epitomized poor sportsmanship and forever branded yourself a liar. For shame, sir.

And for shame NFL. Fix this. You really can’t afford to let this go on.

Replacement refs, I feel bad for you. I truly do. You are in a bad position and I hope that this doesn’t turn you off of football forever.

Packers. You were robbed. You won that game and way to be classy about it. Good for you.

Oh and double shame on you NFL for making me so cranky that I posted about football. I am not a sports fanatic, but you have viscerally offended my sense of justice and fair play. Bad form!

Snow White and the Huntsman

View the details here.

Background: I love fairy tales. I love movies. I love movies based on fairy tales. I’m also partial to Chris Hemsworth anyway I can get him.

I’m also a fan of Charlize Theron who, I’m pretty sure, is breaking several laws by being too darn pretty.

I don’t hate Kristen Stewart. In fact, I’m sorta rooting for the poor kid here and there. One day, with time and maturity, I’m fairly certain she’ll develop into a decent actress. One with more than three expressions. But she’s already got constipated down, so she could totally star with Jackie Chan and his amazing tux.

I was really excited when this was announced, as I particularly enjoy when fairy tales take a turn for the dark and gritty like they used to be before animation and Disney. Not that I don’t adore Disney…

I was less excited about Kristen Stewart being in it, but Twilight is totally one of my emo day guilty pleasure movies, so I was all for it.

My thoughts:

It didn’t suck.

It was a different take on the whole Snow White story and overall I liked it. Plus, Chris Hemsworth.

Where I took issue. While, once again, I don’t hate Kristen Stewart and I firmly believe that her private life and screw-ups as a barely not a teen anymore with about the same likely maturity level if my experiences at her age are anything to go by are none of mine or anyone else’s business, I really don’t think she’s in the same beauty class as Charlize Theron and I call it a huge writing flaw to say she is. (That sentence reads better if you do it all in one breath like I did in my head when I was writing it.)

The rousing join me in the fight to regain our kingdom speech was utter crap. This is not on Kristen. This was just flat out bad writing. Mental note, writing whilst drunk = that god awful speech.

Things I liked. I liked the nod to the whole ruler being tied to the health of the land mythology. It made me happy. Also, Chris Hemsworth.

Overall, I enjoyed watching it. I believe A did too, in spite of my babbling. I was entertained and didn’t want the time back, so I call it a win.

Also, Charlize Theron eating birdy hearts was creepifying in the extreme. She’s a really good crazy, bad guy sort of actress.

My ear itches, it’s cold, and halloween is on its way!

My ear itches.

I know that doesn’t seem like a big deal. But it so is. You know why?

THIS is why!

Yeah. He wants to eat your brain. Through your ear.

I’m terrified of spiders. I will cheerfully burn down the state if I find one in my bathtub.

Seriously, if that right there isn’t proof to you of alien life infiltrating our planet to take over and turn us all into kibble, I don’t know how to save you from yourself when the apocalypse comes. But don’t worry. I’ll mourn you. Really.

Now, I’m not so off the res, that I don’t know the fact that my hair is naturally a little curly and that there’s this one little curl that grows just around my ear and tries its best to drive me crazy by tickling my ear, is the real cause of the itching. I do know this. But that doesn’t stop me from worrying that maybe this time is the time that it’s an evil, alien, arachnid bent on sucking out my brain.

***

I’m allergic to heat. Or the sun. Or something like that. At least, that’s my excuse.

The truth is that I just loathe it. It’s evil and trying to kill us all by baking us.

So I’m always happy when it’s cool and overcast and rainy.

It’s not like that today.

But it is cold in my office, which is nice. So much so, in fact, that I had to put on a hoodie. Not the emo, eyeliner sort of hoodie. A fun, happy, Disney hoodie. Yay!

***

Halloween is almost here!

Yay fall! Yay weather!

Yay three pound bags of candy that will never make it all the way to Halloween, because some lovely person had the genius idea of putting snickers, twix, heath bars, and whoppers all into the same bag. Together.

Bliss!

PS: WordPress is doing that thing again, where it doesn’t wanna let me add tags or link pictures the way that I’m supposed to. I don’t understand why. I think perhaps it wants some candy too. It could have just asked instead of holding functions hostage. Jeez.

PS2: M read this entry and suggested rebranding the blog to “thisisacryforhelp.com”. I’m not sure if I should be offended or really scared for myself. Either way, I’m certain he’s a meaniebutt and will thank me when he is saved from a spider sucking out his brain. THEN who will be crying for help? HUH? Yeah.

PS3 (or is that PPS? Cause I think PS3 might be totally tm’d, in which case, oops!): K just passed her last test and is officially a degreed person and all that good stuff. Grats K! So proud of you!