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You had to know it was coming. If Twilight and all things related turns your tummy, please surf away now. I don’t want to have to clean tossed cookies off the blog. It’s messy and smells grody.
I am also commenting on the books, since I can’t really talk about the culmination of the movie franchise, without talking about the books that spawned it all.
I will preface my review with this: I rag on Twilight. Like a lot. Really a lot. It makes me giggle and I have a good time doing it. However, I enjoy the series because it entertains me. As I’ve said before, it’s like mental junkfood. Sure, most of the time I want something better. But, like my love of cheesy, fabubad sci-fi movies, I also dig angsty, emoance. It’s like sitting on the couch in my jammies and getting my Cheetos and Redi-Whip on.
Now! On to the movie.
Anyone who knows anything about Twilight knows that this is the last big show down. Bella is finally a vampire (something she’s wanted since she figured out that Edward sparkled like a disco ball) and has given birth to a half-human, half-vamp child. Having vampire children is bad, mmkay? (Not to mention how does one sire a child when cellularly frozen?) And is a grand reason for the vampire hit squad, also known as the Volturi, to come and get medieval on your ass.
That’s the movie in a nutshell.
It’s Twilight. It’s like crack for my moody-feel-like-crap-and-need-angsty-teen-drama-to-feel-better-about-life days. Sue me, I find it amusing. There’s a TON of material in here for a grand mock fest. Dog, disco, and creepy kid jokes flew through my head (yes, some spilled out of my mouth too, I’m only human).
Kristen Stewart almost had an expression on her face. I was so proud. *wipes a little tear*
They finally gave Jasper and Edward halfway decent hair.
I got to make the contractually obligated no-shirt joke from Vampires Suck.
I got to fill in internal dialogue for the characters.
They beefed up the ending. I actually highly approve of the deviation from the text, because it made sense and was just fun.
Alice, Emmett, Jasper – My favorite characters from the series.
Not enough screen time for my favorite characters.
I’d say the acting was lackluster, but really, there’s only so much you can do. *shrug*
Creepy ass CGI half-vamp kid. Seriously, she creeped me out in the Pet Semetary way. Ugh.
I got the feeling that everyone was just really ready for it to be over and done with. Not that I can blame them 🙂
Inconsistency. If you’re gonna make a big to do about the fact that the vampires have to live in overcast, cloudy places and avoid the sunlight because they sparkle like Tinkerbell on speed, THEN THEY BLOODY WELL BETTER SPARKLE IN THE GORRAM SUN. Seriously.
Mockery aside, I was entertained. Not in the Avengers sense, obviously, but still entertained. At the end of the day, that’s what matters. I didn’t want my time back and I would cheerfully watch it again.
For more in depth analysis, read my thoughts on the books.
What did you think of the final installment of the Bella saga?