It’s the end of the world as we know it…

So today is supposed to be the end of the world. Yeah, I’ve heard that before.

The world was supposed to end on my 16th birthday. Didn’t happen.

Then there was all this bruhaha about the world ending today, the solstice (happy solstice btw), because the Mayan calendar ended today. Clearly it was some sort of message!

Umm. Yeah. The message was: My arms are tired from chiseling all this into stone. I’m done now. You guys can chisel your own shit for the next 2000 years, you lazy bitches.

At least, that’s what I got out of it.

There is one alternate explanation, though.

It’s entirely possible that today is the day that I get my long-coveted Phoenix Powers. Oh yeah. It’ll happen one day. I just know it. I figure I’m far more stable than Jean Grey, simply because I don’t pine after Scott “I’m a whingy bitch” Summers. Thus, I’d be a far more suitable choice for absolute power.


There are some who believe that I would go Dark Phoenix in the blink of an eye and destroy the planet. Now, I know this would never happen, however, since there are some who think it, that could be the hidden meaning behind the end of the world nonsense!

I suggested this to AE (the bff from high school).

Her response should leave no questions as to which camp she falls into…

Me: I know why people think the world is ending today! I get my phoenix powers! I just know it!

AE: Um. Yeah. I hate to be the one to tell you this… But perhaps you should sit down…

Me: Wha?? No phoenix powers?

AE: So the Mayans had a carving. There was this woman riding a beast with wheels. Another person riding a beast with wheels angered her. The woman riding the beast with wheels destroyed the other person in a firey ugly way. There’s also a carving of a Mayan god shaking his finger as if to say “Nuh uh, no, no, no!” Close ups of the carving show that the woman’s beast with wheels had a little Mazda symbol on it. I’m not making any judgement calls. Just saying.

*sigh* I’m really sort of crushed. I thought for sure that today would be the day. But here it is, 7pm and still no alien symbiosis granting me absolute power.

Maybe on 11-12-13!


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