Archive | May 2014

Reason #3256 that I sometimes don’t sleep at night…

First off, a little background information.

I love cats. Animals in general, but I prefer cats. So when this sweet, pitiful looking black kitty showed up on my bedroom porch one day wanting some noms, naturally, I started to feed her all the noms. She desperately wants to be an inside kitty (and who could blame her??) but I can’t take her in because I have too many pets as it is. But I continue to feed her and provide her a safe place to hang her tail. She also has this talent for breaking in to the house. Somehow, this tiny black kitty gets both paws around the sliding door and pulls that sucker open enough for her to squeeze in. Because of this (and because she’s black) I call her Felicia Hardy. Give yourself 10 points if you get the reference.

Since she’s a stray, she isn’t fixed, and this is on my list of things to do someday when I have a new job and munnies. And since she’s a stray, she’s sort of… free with her charms. Because I feed her and she feels safe on my porch, she had a litter of really adorable little kittens there.

So today’s story. At 3:30 this morning, my lovely, gorgeous, feline soul mate was having snuggle time. Cause why should I sleep when he needs snuggles? He’d finally fallen asleep on my chest and I was about to fall asleep, when he went all alert and focused on the door. This means that we have been invaded. Cat burgled, if you will. So I haul my sleepy and as yet unrested self out of bed and go over to shoo furballs out and close the door.

I do a kitten count and everyone (including Mom) is accounted for. Thinking my duty is done, I congratulate myself and start to get back into bed.

Evidently I missed a cat. Felicia’s clone from an earlier batch of kittens (the one I couldn’t find a home for and now hangs out with Mom on the porch) has, unbeknownst to me, also slipped into the house with the kittens. Only he didn’t haul his buns out when the rest of them did. No, instead, he waited until I got back into bed and threw himself at the sliding door with all his might.

I hear a THUMP and scrambling of claws against glass as he tried to phase through the door to the outside.

Since he is not Kitty Pryde, this didn’t really end well for him and he dashed under the bed to huddle and rock.

So I haul my sleepy and STILL unrested self out of bed again to open the door. Except, because I am still standing near the door, he won’t come out from under the bed. However, if I leave the door, all five kittens come tumbling through the door to explore. I have to allow this necessary evil in order to get angry cat outside.

So I pretend that I don’t exist and move out of the line of site and he practically teleports out the door, sort of like me when I see a spider. I have to say it was impressive.

Once again, I shoo the kittens out of the house and do ANOTHER head count.

Unfortunately, while I have managed to successfully turn back the Mongol horde, I am now awake and there’s no sleep happening.

Trapped kitty looked a little like this:









Only plastered to the door.

I feel bad for laughing, but damn it was funny.