Tag Archive | movies

The Strangers

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(Note: I had this completely typed up and just as I liked it. Then I tried to insert the link to the IMDB page and the entire thing disappeared. So  now I’m cranky. Grrr.)

Yes, this movie came out in 2008 and I’m just now watching it.

Why is that? Honestly, because I loathe Liv Tyler. I couldn’t tell you why, there’s just something about her that irks me. It isn’t really her fault. I like movies that she’s been in, but not because of her. And while I won’t refuse to see a movie she’s in, I tend to resist seeing it unless it’s something like The Lord of the Rings, but that’s for another post.

Since The Strangers is four years old, the statute of spoilers is well past. If you haven’t seen it for whatever reason, tough jellybeans (see HOP).

So the story is: Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman are leaving a wedding and heading to a remote vacation house. They’re not speaking because he’s proposed and she has, obviously, declined.

Sidebar: This is one of my pet peeves. How dare you propose to your whatever at someone else’s wedding? That is a celebration of them and their love. Don’t upstage them because you need to be the center of attention. Bugger off. Not saying that’s what happened in this movie, because he waited til they’d left and were outside in private, so thank you for that.

He calls a buddy to come pick him up, beause things didn’t work out quite right. There are a lot of awkward silences and sort of conversations while they try to wrap themselves around the change in relationship status. At one point, they seal their horror movie fate by almost getting it on.

Then they really seal their fate by answering the damn door. It’s 4am, people. Unless you are expecting someone, you don’t answer the door at 4am. Seriously. At least, I don’t. And I really won’t ever be doing so now. Ever.

What ensues is a whole lot of psychological torture and terrorizing of the poor schlubs who were (let’s be honest now, they opened the door, it’s their own damn fault), unfortunate enough to be in the wrong place at the way wrong time.

Liv Tyler asks why the psychos are doing this. One of them responds, “Because you were home.” Yeah, that right there? That’s why you leave the door locked and go about your make-up sex in peace and quiet.

At any rate, while the movie was totally predictable, it was sufficiently creepy to require a viewing of Daffy Duck as Robin Hood to make sleep happen.

I wouldn’t have paid to see it in theatres, but now that it’s freely available, it’s worth a viewing.

Oh, and don’t forget to not be home when strange people knock on your door at 4am. Trust me on this.

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Cabin in the Woods

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I love a good horror movie.  Hell, I love a bad horror movie.  Then there’s a whole new category of fabubad horror movies.

That alone would have been enough for me to see Cabin in the Woods.  Add to the mix that Joss Whedon (who has god status in my little world) wrote and Chris Hemsworth (who is quite simply divine) stars and you have yourself a combination that ensures my love, even if the film proves utter crap.

It’s starts off pretty much as expected.  College-age kids head off to an isolated cabin in the middle of nowhere for some good clean fun.  Anyone who has ever seen a slasher flick knows what’s going to happen.  Someone drinks, someone has (or attempts to have) sex, everyone dies, the end.  Right?

Well… Not exactly.  See, there’s a twist here.

I don’t do spoilers, so I won’t go into too much detail.  But not everything is as it seems.  There are other forces at work than just crazy, random happenstance.

There’s a very specific purpose to this scenario and the players were chosen to fit certain roles.

So as the movie goes on, all of this unfolds (along with Chris Hemsworth being just awesomely biteable). While it initially looks like a typical slasher flick, the subtext is all kinds of awesome. In true Joss fashion, the ending is not what you expected at all.

The visuals are great and the mood is perfectly creepy throughout. There’s one scene where they’re cycling through all the possible horror flick bad guys that is right out of one of my nightmares. Another scene puts the blood wave in the hallway bit from The Shining to shame, but is balanced by some hysterically funny zombie snacking. At least, I found it hysterical. Some folks fear that I may be sick in the head.

There’s also the inevitable psychological by-play that I expect in anything Joss touches. How exactly do you deal with it when your job is to kill people? It’s all about coping, right?

The way the story plays out and the ending are fantastic and skyrocketed this movie to my top ten list.

Did I mention Chris Hemsworth?